Observing Negative Self-Limiting Beliefs
It is the thing that we want the most, in which we can often have the most resistance towards. Whether it be a career goal, a lifestyle change, or sharing your life with someone, it is often only ourselves that stands in the way of achieving our most deepest desires. Everything we do and say begins with a thought, and it is in observation of our inner dialogue regarding what we are wanting to achieve, in which tells us if we are open to the action required for success or if we are closed off and subconsciously surrendering to stagnation. I witnessed my own self-sabotaging when I first began dating my boyfriend after being single for seven years. I had wanted to find a man to share my life with, however the various men I had dated in the past seven years never made the cut. I had a habit of either dating emotionally unavailable men that had no future to offer me, or men who were desperate for my affections and jumped through hoops to earn my heart until eventually I would disconnect from them, usually relieved to have my space again. My boyfriend was different than all of my past dating experiences. He was emotionally available, stimulating in conversation, and willing to make time to nurture our connection. I was incredibly attracted to him, yet every time I’d spend time with him, I would walk away with thoughts flooding in, as to why we could never work. My emotions were a rollercoaster ride of exhilarating highs, and crippling lows. My mind literally would tell me, this couldn’t be my guy and that I needn’t get too attached. It was as if alarms were going off in my head, screaming, “danger”! I knew I had to change my belief system which was essentially telling me that a relationship was only capable of bringing me pain. Most of the time, our fears will create a dramatic narrative, in which is no where near the truth. It is important that we recognize our own underlying thoughts of why we are potentially afraid to move forward, and then bring them to the light by facing them head on.
Writing A New Script
We must remember that we are not our past experiences and that we are always capable of creating a new story. It doesn’t matter what your story has been, you are capable of transforming your life experience. It is merely a matter of figuring out what you are wanting and then having the willingness to do what it takes to achieve that. One of my dearest friends suffered greatly within her own belief system that told her she could never create a career that was meaningful and fulfilling. She had desired to be a spiritual teacher, hoping to teach others how to connect with their soul through the means of meditating and living consciously, yet because of her fears, in which told her she may fail, she pursued jobs and experiences in which led her in the complete opposite direction of the path she was truly wanting. There were many reasons why she had become so immobilized in fear, and it was only until she decided to do something that scared her in the direction of the career she had wanted, in which things began to shift. My friend had made the decision to sign up for a yoga teacher training. To many people, this action is not frightening, however to her it was. She had only maintained careers, in which did not reflect who she was, and most of them kept her in the shadows where she was most comfortable. She honestly did not know if the training would lead her to where she wanted, yet it was a tangible step, in which was like nothing she had ever done before. She had to talk to her husband about her newest venture, which required the discussion of the four thousand dollars they would have to pay in order for her to attend this particular training, which in turn caused her to feel more frightened to fail. She worried, that now that she had made her desire known to her husband, her risk of failure was greater due to the fact that someone else would be aware of any missteps that may transpire along the way, however she kept moving. Sometimes the only way to get past our fears is to move through them. We have to be able to make the unknown something more familiar and sometimes we may be required to try various things out in order to attempt to move towards our own path of greatness. You may find yourself in a place of confusion when attempting to decide how to get from point A to point B, however it is best to try anything. I believe that action is rewarded spiritually, because it takes a certain amount of energy and faith to make tangible steps towards something that has not yet come into fruition. Move through your fears and apprehension when trying something unknown to you, because this truly is the key to writing a new script. It is important to always remember that in order to create change, one must be willing to do things in a different manner than ever before.
Time For Action!
Once you have recognized your fears, and have decided to do things differently, now comes the time to put one foot in front of the other and take action towards what it is that you are desiring. Taking action is the most challenging part of moving through one’s fears, yet it is also the most rewarding. I remember sitting in front of thirty women for the first retreat I had ever facilitated and feeling conflicting emotions, in which included sheer terror and overwhelming joy and excitement. I had been asked to co-lead this particular day retreat with a yoga instructor that I had developed a friendship with. Intuitively, I had felt I should say yes, yet logically I felt I had no ground to teach anything. I wasn’t a yoga instructor, nor was I a life coach or any other sort of professional that would deem me equipped to help others move towards a life that they loved, however I still felt I was meant to say yes to this particular opportunity. I didn’t quite know where to begin in order to prepare, yet the date was set, and unless I wanted to disappoint a whole lot of people I had to take action by figuring out what exactly my portion of the retreat would include. I did this by starting with where I was at and what I knew my strong suits to be. Writing has always been my strongest form of expression, therefore I wrote a four week self-development workbook which in turn acted as the guideline of what I would ultimately teach. Our retreat evolved over. time, and with gained wisdom I was able to create many different activities and new teachings in which I never would had thought of in the earlier moments of preparation for our particular program. The point is, I had to just start with what I knew and then move from there. For anyone stepping into the realms of the unfamiliar, ask yourself what actions you can take today that can move you closer to your desired outcome. It is through action and experience, in which you will gain wisdom and evolve into the version of yourself that truly is capable of achieving most of your desires. It is important to recognize that stagnation will only keep one stuck and essentially on life’s hamster wheel, and it is only by taking action, even if at times we feel as though we are stumbling over every forward moving step, in which we create the most change and growth within our experience.
You Can Do This
Whatever it is that you are wanting to achieve, in most cases is completely possible, with the willingnesss of your mind to do so. Refrain from avoidance of taking the action steps required, only because you fear failure or are afraid of judgement. What we put out, does energetically come back to us. Put energy towards whatever it is that you are desiring in order to create change. Transforming one’s experience will never manifest by only fantasizing about starting that business, taking that dream trip, or even sharing your life with a loving partner. There will alway be action required, however once you begin to move forward, despite any hesitation you may be feeling, you will often find that fear will be replaced with a newfound sense of empowerment. Just know that fear is often only a self-perceived emotion in which often holds no real truth. You are capable of transforming any experience into something greater because you are human and given a conscious brain do so, along with an infinite amount of spiritual support.
