Looking Closely At What You Are Afraid Of
There are various reasons why we hold onto what is no longer serving us, however the most common reason comes down to fear. We have all had moments in life, in which making a move towards change feels overwhelmingly daunting, which often leads us into feeling as if we are unable to move. If we want a life that is in alignment with our greatest self, change is inevitable. The first step in taking action, is looking at the truth behind the fear that is keeping us stuck. I had this moment during a period of time I was in a relationship in which no longer served me. It was during a heated argument, in which abusive words were directed at me, that would have caused any healthy person to head straight out the door, yet I stayed. It was in that moment I knew I had to figure out why I was so afraid to leave and the truth I would soon discover was that the issue completely had to do with how I viewed myself. I was afraid because I had deeply rooted self-limiting belief’s, in which told me I was not worthy of a healthy partnership. I had yet to experience a respectful relationship of equal give and take, therefore I would have to first, work on myself in order to move on to a more fulfilling partnership. The truth is that in most situations everything begins with us, and it is in the act of creating a strong foundation, in which we move towards the experience of ultimate fulfillment.
6 Steps To Move You Towards Action
Most everything in life is an outward reflection of what is going on inside us, therefore it is once we change the inner us, in which our outer circumstances will follow. Here are six steps that I have used in various points in my life to leave anything that was no longer serving me, including my own self-limiting belief system that told me I was unworthy.
1. Getting Clear On What It Is That You Want
We can not even begin to move, if we do not know where we are going. It’s just like the start of every weight loss plan, in which we are required to know our goal weight and the reason behind our desire to shed some extra pounds. It was in my own moment of realization that I needed to change, in which I focused on my desires of what it was I wanted my life to look like. At the time I was determined to help myself grow in emotional strength, and during this quest I had stumbled upon a Law of Attraction book titled The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. In her book she suggests a practice in which you write down ten things you are grateful for in the present, and then proceed with ten gratitudes for things in which have yet to come into fruition. The point is to expect that all is coming and to be grateful for it. I performed this practice every morning, stating my gratitude for having the strength to depart this union, in which I no longer wanted. It was through this practice, I was able to stay focused on where I was wanting to go, as opposed to giving into a limiting belief that said my outer conditions were unchangeable. There are many other tools besides this particular practice in which I have also used in various points in my life, in which are truly helpful in getting one clear on what it is that they want. Two additional practices in which I am compelled to mention are intention setting and creating a Feng Shui inspired vision board. Whether you use these practices or none at all, the point is to know what it is you truly want and then figure out a plan to getting yourself there.
2. Acting As If
In the process of getting unstuck, it is vital for one to act as though their desired outcome is on its way. This action is a display of faith, in which I have found, can truly move mountains. An example of this, was when I was sixth in line for renting a particular home in which fit all of my requirements, yet it truly looked like I wasn’t going to get it, however I continued to act as if, by intentionally purchasing an expensive piece of home decor for this particular home. It took seven weeks, yet I did in fact get the house. Another example was during the time leading up to my departure of the relationship I had mentioned previously, in which I preceded to move things such as Christmas decorations to a storage unit I had rented. It was a declaration to myself, that before the next Christmas, I would have made this move. Essentially, everything that keeps us stuck begins with a thought, therefore if you move through your fears by taking small action steps towards your goal, eventually our brain begins to catch-up causing the ultimate task at hand not to feel so daunting.
3. Hire A Life Coach Or A Therapist
In terms of mental health, many of us tend to avoid seeking out professional assistance until we come to a point, in which we realize we can no longer keep doing things in the same manner. It is through this kind of support, in which a therapist can help us reframe our issues, shedding new light and perspective on self-limiting beliefs that have the tendency to keep us stuck and in a place of stagnation. I set out to find a therapist, in order to help move me out of fears that were most definitely holding me back, at first I sought out a counselor, in which was referred to me by one of my clients. This particular therapist was male, and incredibly linear in his way of thinking, in which I am not. I am emotional and highly intuitive, therefore my language and perspective was much different than his. I quickly felt this man was not the therapist for me, and soon after a bit of searching I found a professional life coach, whom I felt was better suited for my way of thinking. Week after week we would journal and observe possible solutions. We would visit my past, set goals for the future, and focus on how to obtain peace in my present. It took several months for me to even begin to reprogram and heal my deeply rooted self-limiting beliefs, however eventually I began to grow stronger. I recognized in this process, although it was slow, I began to desire more positive experiences in my life. It was through my healing, in which I began to let go of all in which no longer served me. I highly recommend anyone who is feeling stuck or even overwhelmed with negative thinking to seek out this type of professional help in order to begin your journey to emotional freedom. It is also important to keep in mind that you may have to try out a few different coaches or therapists, before you may find the one that suits you the best. There is a ton of resources and people wanting to assist others in their healing process, therefore it is important to remember none of us have to bare our emotional struggles alone. Be willing to reach out for assistance, because everyone deserves to be happy.
4. Try Yoga
If you have never tried yoga, and are needing to get unstuck in your life, I promise you this is one way to do it. At first glance yoga is typically portrayed as an activity for the extremely flexible, yet the practice is truly designed to meet a person where they are mentally and physically. The practice of yoga is essentially a moving meditation in which unites the mind, body, and spirit together. I remember one of my first yoga classes I had ever tried, I was stunned during a portion of the practice where the teacher had the students move into a pose she called Side Crow (Parsva Bakasana). I watched as everyone twisted their bodies, balancing on what only appeared to be their four arms as their legs lifted into the air. My mouth dropped, as I wondered what the heck kind of yoga class this was. Later we moved into the final resting pose of the practice, Savasana. I felt my body relax as I drifted off absorbing my teachers final words of wisdom, “There is no need to worry because you are exactly where you are supposed to be.” Those were exactly the words I had needed to hear to move myself from one phase of my life and into the life I was wanting. I just needed to feel a sense of peace as I worked it out. I encourage you to try this practice even if it intimidates you. I am by no means an expert on yoga, but a student who has felt and experienced the profound healing that can come from such a practice. I would recommend that if you are trying yoga for the first time, refrain from judgement, just allow it to be a process, because just like life, we take one step at a time in order to conquer the mountain.
5. Meditate
We currently live in a time where meditation is supported by western physicians as well as holistic practitioners. Many people have tried it, yet few include it in their daily routine. I have heard an array of reasons why people lack commitment in regards to this powerful practice, yet for most it tends to come down to two specific excuses as to why they did not continue meditating. One is, in which they simply could not tell if they were doing it right, and the second is, that they had felt as if they couldn’t relax nor stop an obsessive amount of thoughts from coming in. The truth is, that you can’t really screw up meditation. Even an attempt to clear your mind is beneficial. The benefits of meditation is often like a reboot to a computer, yet to our brain. Imagine the stresses of your day, week, or even month, feeling a little bit lighter after a twenty minute session. It is during meditation in which people have also reported to obtaining a greater sense of clarity and many even acquire visions and audible guidance of some sort that is often believed to be a connection to the spiritual realm. When I had first started meditating, I had known very little about the practice, but was wanting to find inner peace through a challenging time. I started with Oprah & Deepak’s 21 day Meditation. The mediations were perfect for me as a beginner, because they were only twenty minutes, and they work you into it with ease. The meditation begins with Oprah giving her insightful wisdom based around the theme chosen for that particular day’s meditation, and then followed by Deepak slowly working you into the meditation itself. It is perfect for beginners because it leaves little time to get overly distracted due to the fact that they are giving you a point of focus to meditate on. If you have struggled with finding a meditation that works for you, and haven’t tried this particular one, I highly recommend you giving it a try. The point is to remember why meditation is so important, especially when working towards moving out of stagnation, and that reason is simply clearing out the static of our ego-self (the very human part of us, that is sometimes is too attached to our physical experience), and allowing ourselves to move into a higher perspective which always makes room for achievable solutions.
6. The Power Of Prayer
If each reader only followed one step, I would want it to be this one. I recognize that everyone has different belief systems, yet I hope the act of prayer will be considered when you are working towards letting go of all that no longer serves you. Essentially when we pray for assistance we are asking for supernatural help that surpasses all of our human capabilities. This is where the impossible becomes possible. It was through prayer, that I was given the home I wanted even though I was sixth in line for it. It was through prayer that I prayed for more connection with a particular man, and as soon as the next day he went from an average of three messages a day to wanting to talk to me as much as possible. It was through prayer that I finally got the strength to leave the toxic relationship that I had mentioned before, and it was through prayer a wonderful plastic surgeon had opted to reconstruct my breasts pro bono to get me through my battle with breast cancer. These are only a handful of miracles that have transpired in my life because of prayer. If you do not pray, it is as if you are choosing by your own free will, to live your life experience without any help. If praying feels foreign to you, and you are not certain how to go about it, I will tell you what my grandmother told me when I was only a young girl, “ Talk to God like he’s a person.” Literally that is all you have to do. It will bring in greater and richer experiences, yet more importantly it will give you the realization that whatever challenge you are struggling with at anytime, you do not have to face it alone. I personally pray for whom ever may be reading this that you find the strength and courage to lead a life, in which truly makes you happy.
